One of the reasons I'm taking this break is to think about if changing my style to appeal to a larger audience is worth it to me. Honestly, right now I'm 92% to the side of saying, "fuck this, I'm not doing what I don't want to do just to gain a little more popularity". I get easily bored by what is popular today. I can't do the soft singing, lovey dovey, wah-wah-wah type of artistry; I just can't do it. Like I said, I get bored. And then I lose interest in my own music. It's happened before; I have a really low attention span. It's so low that in under 4 minutes I can forget what I'm singing and look forward to moving on to the next song. That's why I need the theatricality, the energy, the passion. Anything else feels dull to me. But I understand why people like what's hip nowadays, and that's cool, I'm not gonna judge, but it's not worth it to me. Like I said, I just get bored. The emotion is vague; it's being done repeatedly and I'm not going to be another one of them. I'd rather quit. Which leads me to think that I will never get any sort of record deal or contract. I'm stubborn. So all the work will have to come from me, and right now, when I calculate my chances, it's not worth it and I don't have enough follower support to get through it.
Anyways, I'm most likely gonna crawl back to music eventually with a better game plan (which is what has happened in the past...several times) so I'm not giving up just yet. I just need a new perspective. I need to know how to reach out to the right people. In the meantime, I'm working on myself as a person and my anger management. Yes, anger management. It's an issue. Is it obvious? Does anyone even read this ever?